In the Trench or on the Bench?
In The Trench or on The Bench?
What’s your choice?
A filled with a fear eight-year-old kid was playing baseball, his father begging the kid to swing the bat. Other kids would mock him and call him “Statue of Liberty” because the kid was too fearful of swinging at a pitch. One day the kid’s unsympathetic coach came over to at the plate and said, “This may be your lucky day, if you get hit by a pitch, you will get a chance to see what it’s like to be on first base.” While the kid’s teammates jumped at the opportunity to get to the plate and swing for the fences, all this kid wanted to do was sit on the bench. With his deer in the headlight look, fear paralyzed his body at the plate.
Lately, we have seen something similar around us at work, home, and through the press. We are in a time or fight or flight, of getting into battle or taking a seat. Fear creates a time for us to stay (or jump) in the trenches, or a moment to sit this one out, on the bench. It turns out we sometimes sit out too many because we don’t know enough about our own fears or the people we lead.
Fear is in all of us. If we take a look at it, understand why and how it got there, we don’t linger on it. Driven by an almond-shaped set of nuclei called the amygdala, somewhere around the temporal lobe, is where our thoughts of fear are stored. The thing is, how do some people accept and face it, while others run from it? How can some acknowledge it, strategize a plan to win, while some hide from it in fear of failure?
The year 2020 has directed a spotlight on the trench fighters and bench sitters. What are leaders doing to help them manage their fears, and how are they leading others?
Leaders in need right now are helping themselves and others stay in the battle by identifying fears and myths of staying in the trench.
Five myths of staying in the trench
Myth #1: Stay and do nothing
I’ve seen some business friends choose to “do nothing,” thinking the business will always come back, therefore, choosing not to change course. Facing fear without action points to a failure in most cases. Blockbuster video decided to do nothing, waited too long. Same story for Kodak and Sears. Accepting realities pivots our actions towards change, responding to the needs of the market, and providing solutions. If you choose to stay in the trenches, be prepared to change everything.
Myth #2: You gotta win big.
Sometimes it is easy to lose your vision when you are in the trenches. The fact is, we have no control over what’s happening in much of our lives. A Virus, unemployment, the stock market, all out of our control in the space we occupy. In 2002, there was nothing we could control when we lost the internet bubble war of highly leveraged and poorly operational ideas. Attempting to control the uncontrollable may blind and paralyze you during your journey, seeking big wins when only the small exist. There are risks in times of uncontrolled fear; reeling in fear is the price for your progress. As we gain control over what we can, small wins found are progress in your own space. Find small wins today is building confidence to take on more for bigger wins tomorrow.
Myth #3: Stick to your goals
It took a near collapse of our stock market in 2008 for wipeouts of wealth. The flexible mindsets moved and repositioned; the fixed watched their 401k become worthless. Generations of family wealth were wiped out in a few months, while new businesses filled the void of the bankrupt with new solutions. The titanic stayed full steam ahead, never-changing priorities of goals. We know that outcome. A business owner’s goal in business year one is survival, different when the business is mature at 15 with a foundation below it. When the going gets tough and everything changes, force yourself to remove the glue on your goals to reposition and prioritize.
Myth #4: Leadership is lonely
Colin Powell once said, “Sometimes leadership is pissing people off.” Wives tales and stories of the past speak of leadership loneliness and dictatorship. The truth is, if you’re feeling some loneliness in making decisions, you are probably a good leader. Hard choices come at an emotional cost. Turns out, though, real leadership is not lonely at all. John Maxell writes it best in Leadership Gold by stating, “if you are lonely at the top, you are probably doing it wrong.” Maxwell writes that a level 5 Pinnacle leader, the highest leader, is tasked with developing more leaders, finding value and opportunity for others when they cannot find it themselves. High-level leadership is as crowded as a graduation ceremony, shoulder to shoulder with like-minded inspired people who need higher-level leaders to raise their lid and that of the organization. Aim to be that leader.
Myth #5: I will fail
It seems like the primary paralysis of the bench player is the fear of failure. Perfectionism, self-sabotage, and low self-esteem are symptoms of the fear of failure, and when self-observed, can be repaired. Observations become words, words written become actions, while repeated actions can become habits. Leaders help themselves, then others, finding and accepting their fears to manage them. The greatest feat of a leader is to utilize failures, much like small wins, as lessons for life. Leaders in need find small failures as much as small wins to help others achieve higher levels.
We stand in times when voices of fear and failure dance in our head that, when permitted, will feel out of our control. As antidotes, recognition, strategy, and new habits will lead to overcoming fears to get off the bench into the trenches.
Like an eight-year-old baseball player, are you swinging for the fences or warming the bench?
Robert Babb, PT, MBA. Thinker. Leader. Speaker. Helping to raise the lids of organizations and thought leaders to higher levels
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